I imagine a purgatory for all the people I’ve loved, A place where they stay just as I remember them Before they quit my life. I was never good at farewells, So, I know I’ll join them one day And shock them more than they’ve ever shocked me For they’ll have stayed just as they are But I’ll have changed, A woman to rejoice In someone else’s disappointment.

It consists of 582 words and a good amount of “sorry”s. — I say “sorry” more than I used to. It’s like a hiccup that introduces my sentences now. WebMD says I might be dying or taking up more space than I used to. I haven’t decided whether it’s time to draft my will or accept the fact that people listen to…

Fuck all those moments I thought I figured it out. — I don’t write anymore. I can’t read as much as I used to, either. It’s tough reading someone else’s sentences and wondering if I’d be able to write something as good. Everyone writes better than I do. Things are getting better. I quit my job to do something I love…

From WhatsApp to Instagram, our social media presence creates the illusion that even after death, there is still an open conversation between us and a loved one. — My parents, grandmother, and I were 40 hours into a 56-hour stay-at-home order in our family’s Istanbul apartment in December when we decided to put up our New Year’s tree. My dad installed our topper, which resembles the Taj Mahal. …

Do I think selfies will fix our problems? No. Am I glad to see Turkish women take up space? Yes. — For me, it all started with my mother. On Sunday, she posted a black and white selfie of her radiant smile, accepting a challenge from one of her good friends and colleagues. “I am compelled to speak my mind,” she wrote underneath in her native tongue, Turkish, “We have to…

Nothing scares me more than death. That’s why most of the time, I feel compelled to say I have no fears because who doesn’t fear death? — I was 11 when I went on my first date. It was the summer of, I believe, 2003. Me and my now estranged cousin spent our months off from school at our grandparents’ summer house in Kuşadası, a Turkish beach resort town on the Aegean coast. Every night, the cool…

Is Kylo Ren hot or am I just lonely? — Two or so months ago, I remember, I counted the days I spent by myself in my apartment. Then I started counting weeks; the last time I was at a bar or in my office or smiled at someone on the street, but once I hit months, that’s when I…

What to do when you’ve already spent hours reading fanfic about Adam Driver, and there’s still a pandemic outside? Cherry pies from McDonalds is all I think of when I recall having pneumonia as a 10-year-old. My parents, both doctors, had different approaches to the sickness that kept me (and…

I hated washing my hands when I was in middle school. I dreaded each time my nanny dragged me to the bathroom as soon as I took off my shoes. …